Ever notice how much free stuff there is on the Internet?  I have.   There are all kinds of sites offering virtually anything you could imagine for free.   Free – the most gorgeous, splendiferous word in the English language.   Whenever we consumers see or hear it we are overcome with an nearly orgasmic feeling.   Every advertiser out there knows it.   They know that we are all – including yours truly – looking for the lunch that is not only free but will also not place on weight or make us feel guilty.   Recently, one of my cousins visited me and he, believe it or not, is one of the few people left in the world who is not familiar with using the Internet – at all.   While I was showing him various sites, he noticed all the freebies that were advertised online.   I tried patiently to clarify to him the necessity of taking these offers with a grain of salt but he insisted that I explore as many of them as possible.   So, with this wide-eyed innocent to the Internet by my side we started exploring the ads.   Whenever one would question for an email address as the price for their “free stuff“, and this was most of them, he would question me to use mine.   I reluctantly did and was of course later deluged with spam.
What I tried to clarify to him was how the word “free” is often used deceptively and how that word is paired with products or services that are in no way free.   This is done so that very appealing word can lure customers to merchants.   For example, do this:  Enter the term “free software” into Google or Yahoo or any other search engine.   (I know, I know.   Yahoo is technically not a search engine but a directory but indulge me. )  Now of course there is free software and other free items to be had all over the Internet but the result from such a search will also yield the term “free download” as well as many other results.   “Free download” Really?  The download is free?  Well why the hell shouldn’t the download be free?  If you look carefully at such sites you will find that they have successfully placed their product amidst products and services that really are free.
That leads to the whole subject of deceptive advertising.   Now there are too many deceptive advertising practices on out there to explore them all here so I’ll talk about another practice that irks me — sites that hide the price of their product or service deeply within their pages.   I have gone to sites to find out that the bite comes so late in the pitch that you are practically at the end of the ordering form before that price is revealed.   I don’t expect everything or even most things to be free but I believe – to paraphrase Sydney Greenstreet in the ‘Maltese Falcon’ – plain speaking leads to clear understanding.   Tell me how much it is right up front.   I’m a huge boy I can take it.   Besides how trustworthy can a merchant be if he waits until the last minute to spring on you something as vital as the price?  What else will he wait to spring on you at a later date?
Still there are bargains and freebies to be had out there for one with the patience and caution to go hunting for them.   It is, after all, human nature to want something for nothing.   I just wish advertisers who do charge for their service or product would man up and stop misappropriating that wonderful word.   By the way, did any of you readers reckon by the title of this post that I was offering a free product? Point made.

I am a native Missourian with a B. A. in English and minors in creative writing and Journalism. I attended the University of Missouri and edited have several newspapers and newsletters. I have worked in several fields but lately have worked in the legal field (not an attorney). My site is www. myhumbleopinion. org

Tagged with: • •

Filed under: free stuff

Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!